Hey, you folks talking aboutFallout? I like Fallout! Yeah, I’d say I’m a pretty big Fallout fan. Oh, what’s my favorite Fallout? Hmm. That’s hard to say. So many Fallouts. After no consideration, I’m going to probably either say Fallout 2 or New Vegas and then pat myself on the back for being smart.
Incidentally, New Vegas is my favorite game in the series. I don’t know! The game’s got Dave Foley as a robot. As far as I can tell, that’s far more Kids In The Hall representation than other entries in the series.
But while I keep seeing articles about the number of people playing Fallout surging and lists ranking each game, there’s something missing. A Fallout game worth talking about (eg,notFallout: The Brotherhood of Steel).A Fallout game that takes under two hours to complete. One hour if you’re really good.
Reader, I’m talking about the Fallout pinball for your console and home computer! And it is so, so sweet. Plus, it’s still available. I actually thought it had been pulled offline because I saw it nowhere in any of the recent Fallout sales. Go figure.
I’m going to skip ahead and assume you know how pinball works. If you’ve never played pinball, I suggest you visit your local bar owned by a millennial going through a midlife crisis. There will be at least three tables, one of which will be The Addams Family. For the rest of you, Fallout pinball comes with the Bethesda Pinball DLC pack for Pinball FX3.
The good news is Pinball FX3 itself is free; the company makes money from subscriptions and DLC packs. In addition to Fallout there’s a table for Doom (great) and Skyrim (also great). It’s only $11, but I won’t twist your arm.
Okay, lemme twist your arm. Fallout pinball does an incredibly good job of replicating the feeling of the games into a short pinball experience. Like a lot of great pinball machines - real or virtual - Fallout is almost a miniature theme park with attractions based on the source material. You can create a character and set your SPECIAL stats.
you’re able to explore vaults (includingwhat I’m assuming is a not-canon Vault 33). You canjoin factions and make enemies of other factions. You can level up. You can get loot. There’s even a VATS system that’s oddly satisfying. You even get a companion at the beginning of the game. And all of these things legitimately affect the gameplay. There’s more going on under the hood than in your average pinball game.
And that’s just the gameplay. All of the characters, designs, visuals, and lighting are perfect. Even if you’ve just seen the show, you would recognize a lot on the table. Basically, everything but the super mutant is going to track for brand new fans. Also I mentioned lighting because the game does a clever trick by changing the lighting based on the quest. For example, when you explore a vault, the light drops low and themusic gets mysterious. I know it sounds dorky, but that’s only because itisdorky.
In other words, the tablelookslike Fallout. Okay, to be fair, it looks mostly like Fallout 4 because it’s based on Fallout 4. It doesn’t say this! It’s just branded as Fallout pinball! But it’s very Fallout 4 heavy. The factions, the companions, the art - it’s very Fallout 4. If you’ve played that game, it’ll probably be a little more fun with specific fan service. But again, even if you just watched the television show, you’ll be able to follow along just fine. It’s Fallout. It’s pinball. We’ll all be okay.
On the downside, themusicof the game is a little annoying. Outside of the mysterious music in the vaults, everything feels a little off. The Bethesda-era Fallout theme is nowhere to be found. And there ain’t much in the way of old tunes. My guess being that it’s too expensive to pay for that. Which makes sense. This is a pinball table in an $11 DLC pack with two other tables. They were working with what they got.
And while the sounds are generally fine, the super mutant at the top doesn’t ever shut the hell up. And, baby, he’s got nothing to say. He repeats the same three or four lines over. And over. And over.
Look, I know we’re not made of time. If we were, we’d be clocks. Most of us are not going to do another full series playthrough, no matter how much we promise ourselves that we’re going to finally - this time for real - beat Fallout Tactics: The Brotherhood of Steel (not to be confused with Fallout: The Brotherhood of Steel, which is an inexplicably different game entirely).
And you may just want to noodle around with something Fallout-y after watching the show. Maybe not a full game, but something to scratch that itch. It exists. It’s existed since 2017. If you’re a fan of the games, it’s a big treat. If you’re a fan of the show and don’t play games, it’s pinball -anyonecan play it.
Trust me, folks. You’ll thank me later. Oh, and when you finally get into it, open up a Spotify playlist of Ink Spots songs so the music from the game doesn’t drive you to go full Vault 32.
